texts from last full moon

[thejoyrider]

♥

(use texts from the website, change them up to fit the situation or write your own!)

Comments

and trevor's fatter ones

[cryptsleeper]

[DID HE JUST???
ADRIAN?!?!]

I meant you and me specifically in that statement.

[petcromancer]

[Hey, do you think your doting papa called you by your edgelord name when he bragged about you, back during that first visit?]

I can't argue with that.

[cryptsleeper]

[lOOK! LOOK!!!!]

And I am sorry you're having difficulties. Genuinely, truly, and without a note of sarcasm. I'll tell Sypha to text you.

[petcromancer]

...

thanks

[cryptsleeper]

You're welcome.

Joking aside. Is there anything that I can send in your direction to assist?

[petcromancer]

No, not without horrifying your delicate sensibilities.

[All three of Team Slay Dracula are appropriately buff, but none of them are likely to come cuddle him, lbr. Hector's just going to weather this full-moon impulse like he has the others.]

[cryptsleeper]

And I don't know enough people to suggest others.

[Sorry he's still Sad and Alone somehow.]

[petcromancer]

It's fine. I need to quiet the impulse, not indulge it.

Just delete this text and pretend it never happened.

[cryptsleeper]

....Why not channel it in a more productive way?

[petcromancer]

I am not sure I want to ask what you mean.

[cryptsleeper]

Look I can't speak to the situation or urges, but if I'm in a bad state, I do work. It distracts me, it's productive, stuff gets done. With you...if dogs or other animals help, pet sitting service or something.

[petcromancer]

[...is Alucard honestly telling him to pet-sit his boner away??? This explains so much about them and it is infinitely depressing.]

I am going to say this as delicately as possible. You need to get laid.

[You have two very buff allies who actually like your personality, and you look like a damn vampire Adonis, this should not be beyond you!]

[cryptsleeper]

[Yes. Yes he is. He's TRYING TO HELP he didn't say he was GOOD AT HELPING.]

We're taking it slowly, thank you. Balancing three people is tricky.

[petcromancer]

[Hector needs to know NONE of this.]

The point is, if I could dog-walk this problem away, don't you think I would've done it already? You've seen Cezar's tiny legs. There's only so far the poor dog can walk.

[cryptsleeper]

[YOU BROUGHT IT UP BUDDY.]

Have you considered building a wagon for him to be pulled about in?

[petcromancer]

Look, I already built him a bed. there's a limit to my dog-related carpentry skills.

[cryptsleeper]

Oh, I hadn't realized!

...I can draw up a blueprint for you if you'd like.

[petcromancer]

[Have a picture of a pug sleeping on a tiny bed frame, with a pillow as a mattress and a 'sheet' made of handkerchiefs. Because Hector's not cruel, and Alucard needs to see it.]

If you want an excuse to see my dog, just say so. He doesn't need a

...

wait, could it look like a little chariot?

[cryptsleeper]

You did a very nice job with it. He looks incredibly comfortable.


It could, yes. I could extend the platform so he can turn around or curl up.

[petcromancer]

[WELP, Hector can't be the asshole who denies his dog this completely normal and reasonable accommodation, can he?]

Leslie is to thank for the idea. Cezar still sleeps anywhere, but he seems to enjoy it when it occurs to him to use it.

And please write out the directions in a language I can read. Your father was constantly slipping up and sending us instructions in old, dead languages.

[cryptsleeper]

.........Yeah that sounds like him.

My Greek is passable. I'll send instructions in that and Wallachian, the latter for my own reference if I end up coming over to assist.

[petcromancer]

'Passable', I'm sure. [If Alucard isn't as good as fluent, Hector will eat his non-existent hat.]

Just keep it reasonable. It doesn't have to be some work of architectural genius.

[He's seen your dad's castle, and it is important to establish these expectations before things get wild and steam-powered.]

[cryptsleeper]

My spoken is better.

I won't go terribly overboard. Promise.

[petcromancer]

Very well. Design it, and I'll see if I can build it.