[There's still some of that left in the future but this... this kid is so naive it's painful.
He pulls his attention back to the bun, swallowing some saliva that had begin to pool in his mouth. If he eats it quickly he won't have to think about it anymore.
Takizawa takes a bite, but the moment he does his eyes start welling up with tears again. He can't help it, and he can't stop it. The amount of emotion he feels over a simple bite of normal food is too much. Instead of eating it quickly, he chews slowly and savors the flavor.
Why does he have to be like this?]
A-ah... sorry. Sorry, it... I haven't had one of these in a long time...
Well... I prefer to believe others are kind. After all, kindness is all you need for happiness. [ Kaneki smiles as his mother's words echo in his head. He has not been kind at all, has he? He has been doing terrible things ever since he was turned into a ghoul, and now that he is here, he is faced with something that might mean he will hurt more people.
He tries not to think about it too much. After all, Kaneki is still doing his best to do what his mother taught him, despite the circumstances.
His attention goes back to Takizawa and his food instead, since that's a lot less conflicting than Kaneki's thoughts about his own morals. Even though it is kind of weird, but as Takizawa explains, Kaneki's expression softens. Perhaps the man comes from a place where this sort of thing no longer exists, or maybe there are other similar circunstances. Whatever it is, it's unfair of Kaneki to judge when he too would probably cry a lot if he could have a bite of normal food ]
It's alright, you don't have to apologize. [ in fact ] You don't need to mind me, please take your time.
[This is so ridiculous. He considers offering Kaneki some, but he's kind of made a mess of the bun already, what with it being squished up in his hands and subjected to tear run-off. Takizawa doesn't say much else as he eats. He has to calm himself and any time he tries to think of something else he starts crying again. His chest hurts from holding in all the sobs.
It's pathetic, and he's ashamed of it, but at least at this point he's fairly certain he's not actually eating human meat. This is a real baked good.
He tries to focus on the boy's words. It's important to get to know what he's dealing with.
Kindness is all he needs for happiness? That's a whole new level of naivete. It might work for some, but it can also lead to nothing but heartache. Not everyone is going to be willing to return that kindness. It's better to believe that anyone has the potential to be evil, that way you're never disappointed. But that's not a very fun way to live either, is it?
He's licking the icing off his fingers now, saddened by the fact that he's finished but not willing to go get anything more.]
[ kaneki is silent as he lets Takizawa eat. Instead, he watches the people around - eyes following mostly the monsters and whoever doesn't look human. He wonders if in this place there are monsters who are seen as terrible and that others thought they should kill them, too. He wonders how is everyone so relaxed with other creatures living among them. He wonders how they accept such creatures and how they accept that these said creatures could be very dangerous.
"Is it even like how it is, back home?" is a question he asks himself a lot, too. He is terrified if it is, and he is terrified if it's not. Because he keeps being thrown into new situations and none of them are pleasing.
When he hears Takizawa, he looks back at the man ]
[He doesn't have to ask. Takizawa already knows. He could keep the connection between them a secret for as long as he's there, but there are too many questions to ask. Too many things he needs to know. If this isn't a complicated trap laid out just for him, then he has the advantage knowledge-wise.
It's because those suspicions are still in place that he doesn't feel bad dropping this question on the poor kid. It might be a relief to him in some sense, knowing there's someone else who can relate to him.]
[ it's hard to register that question, at first. Kaneki's face is mostly confused because he is confused, not fully understanding what takizawa is asking for a split-second there. And that innocent confusion is soon replaced with panic.
His heart starts beating, so fast and so loud that he feels like everyone around them will hear it. His head gets loud too, like a strange buzzing suddenly going louder and louder, and he can't make out what is happening around him anymore just by listening. His hands are sweaty, but he has lost strength in them - or his legs. A cold shiver runs through his body and Kaneki forgets to breathe.
Ghoul. Ghoul ]
I... don't know what type of monster I am, they said no one knows until the full moon. [ this is the best way to get that question off his back - assume ignorance. And so he will pretend to be ignorant of what he is being asked.
This will also give Kaneki some time to figure out what to do next. He should try to get away from this person as fast as possible; he should just get up and get lost in the crowd, hopefully to hide away. There are so many questions running through Ken's head about who this person is and how does he know, but those are not a priority.
Whoever Takizawa is, he is currently a danger to Kaneki.
[Or he could scare the shit out of the kid. That was another possible outcome.
He sighs, rubbing at his eyes with a couple fingers in frustration.]
Ghoul isn't a type of monster here. If you've already figured out you're one then you should know that by now.
[Unless he'd been given bad information. Takizawa wouldn't know.]
Are you gonna run off like a frightened child or can we discuss this like the rational beings we are? ['Rational' seems like such a stretch in his case.] I wasn't mistaken when we met. I told you I know you.
[Takizawa just looks tired. This place has already worn on him mentally and he doesn't know how to deal with a situation involving unexplained time discrepancies between arrivals. If Kaneki decides to dash off he probably won't even chase after him.]
[ he absolutely wants to run off. he doesn't know this person; it could be an investigator or someone from Aogiri, or someone even more dangerous (who knows!) - he knows Kaneki but Kaneki doesn't know him and that is worrisome. Dangerous.
While he doesn't run away, he moves a little, to create more distance between him and Takizawa ] ... who are you?
[That hadn't been a lie. He'd avoided the full truth right away out of caution, and he's only giving it now because he doesn't think it's helping him any not to bring it up. He needs to know what's going on.
Takizawa remains slumped in his seat, but there's very little he can do to avoid looking threatening - especially now that he's frightened the boy.]
I'm the same as you, but you wouldn't have met me in person.
[ "same as you" doesn't actually explain it. Because to Kaneki, Takizawa is just another normal ghoul; only very few selected people know Kaneki's true nature and while word of the "Eyepatch who fought the Dove" goes around the Ward, all of them think Kaneki is just a ghoul. A stranger wouldn't know, naturally.
Maybe this person heard of him, then.
And if he is a ghoul, then... well, he was eating normal food, right? Rightplease tell him that bun was an actual bun ]
[That gets a short laugh out of Takizawa. How does he know Kaneki? How could he not know him? He'd only heard about how much of a success he was, over and over and over...
But it was far more than that now. He can't throw the future at this younger version of his King, no matter if he's the real deal or not.]
I was made to be like you. You get what I mean, right?
Made to be like me...? [ kaneki seems confused, but he gets there very quickly. His blood chills and the way is eyes widen, is obvious just how much that stunned him ]
You are... a half-ghoul?! But- how?! [ kaneki knows how - organ transplant - but how is this happening to someone else, too? ] Who did this?! [ Dr Kanou comes to mind, but Kaneki desperately wants to believe the good doctor is... well, good. He has thought about it, if it wasn't all a coincidence, but Kaneki wants it to be all just an accident that no one predicted.
But with Takizawa-san also becoming like this... can it really be called an accident? ]
Man, you really are far behind. You'll make me feel bad telling you any of this.
[He already does, even if that nagging suspicion that he's being played is still there. But if someone had enough information to create this good a replica of Kaneki, then why would they need more from him?]
It shouldn't be too hard to guess. We had the same doctor, after all.
[Not going into full detail there. He'll work his way up to it. Takizawa is taking tiny steps, seeing how much this younger version knows. He can assume his place on the timeline, but he'd rather know for certain.]
[ As Takizawa mentions Kanou, Kaneki feels his blood turn cold. It's NOT an accident, then; Dr Kanou couldn't possibly accidentally make two half-ghouls like that. Was the man experimenting to see what would happen? Does he know that Kaneki became a half-ghoul? He should be able to tell, right? He did so many exams, Dr. kanou would be able to see that something inhuman exists inside Kaneki.
He covers his mouth with his hand, looking at the ground while his mind races. ]
Dr Kanou... is he... why is he making... things like us? [ "beings". "people". "half-ghouls". Strangely enough, Kaneki can't bring himself to say any of those words.
But then it dawns on him ] The food you ate just now...! [ is it something that kaneki can eat too, then/ he has been looking for it, something for him to eat without hurting others ]
Because he can, I think. He's working for Aogiri Tree, but he does it for his own scientific intrigue.
[Takizawa would never pretend for a moment that Kanou was a good person. Not in any way. He'd put him through too much.
He turns his eyes down to his hands, thinking of the treat he'd eaten just minutes ago. Has Kaneki been having the same thoughts as him? He'd claimed he'd eaten already.]
...What do you smell, Kaneki-kun, when you smell the food here?
Aogiri? [ kaneki had been kidnapped by aogiri tree before coming here. So this had been the Doctor's plan all along? Why? And why him?! Kaneki feels sick, frowning as he looks down at his hands. What was this? And what was going on?!
The question pulls him away from his own thoughts ] ... what I smell? [ the food is disgusting, to him. Shouldn't it be too, for Takizawa? If he was an half-ghoul like Kaneki, why was he able to eat that food? ] I can't eat normal food...
[The question of Aogiri is ignored for now in favor of a more current subject. This information seems to bother Takizawa greatly.] Are you saying it still smells foul to you?
[It doesn't make sense that this boy would remain a ghoul when everyone was supposed to be changed. Is it because his stay is more temporary? No, that doesn't make sense either. There isn't anyone else he knows of that hasn't been altered even when entering the city through the wrong mirror.]
You know, I thought... [He places the end of one index finger between his teeth absent-mindedly.] when I got here, and the food smelled normal that there had to be something wrong with it. That it all had to be made from human material of some kind or else it wouldn't smell that way. I hadn't even eaten until now. I don't like not knowing where my food comes from...
[He bites down on his finger until it bleeds, then licks at the blood with a frown.] But what I had there... it was just bread. It was a cinnamon bun and nothing else. Is it because I'm a witch?
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no subject
[There's still some of that left in the future but this... this kid is so naive it's painful.
He pulls his attention back to the bun, swallowing some saliva that had begin to pool in his mouth. If he eats it quickly he won't have to think about it anymore.
Takizawa takes a bite, but the moment he does his eyes start welling up with tears again. He can't help it, and he can't stop it. The amount of emotion he feels over a simple bite of normal food is too much. Instead of eating it quickly, he chews slowly and savors the flavor.
Why does he have to be like this?]
A-ah... sorry. Sorry, it... I haven't had one of these in a long time...
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He tries not to think about it too much. After all, Kaneki is still doing his best to do what his mother taught him, despite the circumstances.
His attention goes back to Takizawa and his food instead, since that's a lot less conflicting than Kaneki's thoughts about his own morals. Even though it is kind of weird, but as Takizawa explains, Kaneki's expression softens. Perhaps the man comes from a place where this sort of thing no longer exists, or maybe there are other similar circunstances. Whatever it is, it's unfair of Kaneki to judge when he too would probably cry a lot if he could have a bite of normal food ]
It's alright, you don't have to apologize. [ in fact ] You don't need to mind me, please take your time.
no subject
It's pathetic, and he's ashamed of it, but at least at this point he's fairly certain he's not actually eating human meat. This is a real baked good.
He tries to focus on the boy's words. It's important to get to know what he's dealing with.
Kindness is all he needs for happiness? That's a whole new level of naivete. It might work for some, but it can also lead to nothing but heartache. Not everyone is going to be willing to return that kindness. It's better to believe that anyone has the potential to be evil, that way you're never disappointed. But that's not a very fun way to live either, is it?
He's licking the icing off his fingers now, saddened by the fact that he's finished but not willing to go get anything more.]
May I ask you something, Kaneki-kun?
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"Is it even like how it is, back home?" is a question he asks himself a lot, too. He is terrified if it is, and he is terrified if it's not. Because he keeps being thrown into new situations and none of them are pleasing.
When he hears Takizawa, he looks back at the man ]
Ah, yes, of course.
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[He doesn't have to ask. Takizawa already knows. He could keep the connection between them a secret for as long as he's there, but there are too many questions to ask. Too many things he needs to know. If this isn't a complicated trap laid out just for him, then he has the advantage knowledge-wise.
It's because those suspicions are still in place that he doesn't feel bad dropping this question on the poor kid. It might be a relief to him in some sense, knowing there's someone else who can relate to him.]
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His heart starts beating, so fast and so loud that he feels like everyone around them will hear it. His head gets loud too, like a strange buzzing suddenly going louder and louder, and he can't make out what is happening around him anymore just by listening. His hands are sweaty, but he has lost strength in them - or his legs. A cold shiver runs through his body and Kaneki forgets to breathe.
Ghoul. Ghoul ]
I... don't know what type of monster I am, they said no one knows until the full moon. [ this is the best way to get that question off his back - assume ignorance. And so he will pretend to be ignorant of what he is being asked.
This will also give Kaneki some time to figure out what to do next. He should try to get away from this person as fast as possible; he should just get up and get lost in the crowd, hopefully to hide away. There are so many questions running through Ken's head about who this person is and how does he know, but those are not a priority.
Whoever Takizawa is, he is currently a danger to Kaneki.
Kaneki needs to leave ]
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He sighs, rubbing at his eyes with a couple fingers in frustration.]
Ghoul isn't a type of monster here. If you've already figured out you're one then you should know that by now.
[Unless he'd been given bad information. Takizawa wouldn't know.]
Are you gonna run off like a frightened child or can we discuss this like the rational beings we are? ['Rational' seems like such a stretch in his case.] I wasn't mistaken when we met. I told you I know you.
[Takizawa just looks tired. This place has already worn on him mentally and he doesn't know how to deal with a situation involving unexplained time discrepancies between arrivals. If Kaneki decides to dash off he probably won't even chase after him.]
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While he doesn't run away, he moves a little, to create more distance between him and Takizawa ] ... who are you?
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I told you my name.
[That hadn't been a lie. He'd avoided the full truth right away out of caution, and he's only giving it now because he doesn't think it's helping him any not to bring it up. He needs to know what's going on.
Takizawa remains slumped in his seat, but there's very little he can do to avoid looking threatening - especially now that he's frightened the boy.]
I'm the same as you, but you wouldn't have met me in person.
[Yet.]
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Maybe this person heard of him, then.
And if he is a ghoul, then... well, he was eating normal food, right? Right
please tell him that bun was an actual bun]How do you know me?
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But it was far more than that now. He can't throw the future at this younger version of his King, no matter if he's the real deal or not.]
I was made to be like you. You get what I mean, right?
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You are... a half-ghoul?! But- how?! [ kaneki knows how - organ transplant - but how is this happening to someone else, too? ] Who did this?! [ Dr Kanou comes to mind, but Kaneki desperately wants to believe the good doctor is... well, good. He has thought about it, if it wasn't all a coincidence, but Kaneki wants it to be all just an accident that no one predicted.
But with Takizawa-san also becoming like this... can it really be called an accident? ]
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[He already does, even if that nagging suspicion that he's being played is still there. But if someone had enough information to create this good a replica of Kaneki, then why would they need more from him?]
It shouldn't be too hard to guess. We had the same doctor, after all.
[Not going into full detail there. He'll work his way up to it. Takizawa is taking tiny steps, seeing how much this younger version knows. He can assume his place on the timeline, but he'd rather know for certain.]
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He covers his mouth with his hand, looking at the ground while his mind races. ]
Dr Kanou... is he... why is he making... things like us? [ "beings". "people". "half-ghouls". Strangely enough, Kaneki can't bring himself to say any of those words.
But then it dawns on him ] The food you ate just now...! [ is it something that kaneki can eat too, then/ he has been looking for it, something for him to eat without hurting others ]
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[Takizawa would never pretend for a moment that Kanou was a good person. Not in any way. He'd put him through too much.
He turns his eyes down to his hands, thinking of the treat he'd eaten just minutes ago. Has Kaneki been having the same thoughts as him? He'd claimed he'd eaten already.]
...What do you smell, Kaneki-kun, when you smell the food here?
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The question pulls him away from his own thoughts ] ... what I smell? [ the food is disgusting, to him. Shouldn't it be too, for Takizawa? If he was an half-ghoul like Kaneki, why was he able to eat that food? ] I can't eat normal food...
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[The question of Aogiri is ignored for now in favor of a more current subject. This information seems to bother Takizawa greatly.] Are you saying it still smells foul to you?
[It doesn't make sense that this boy would remain a ghoul when everyone was supposed to be changed. Is it because his stay is more temporary? No, that doesn't make sense either. There isn't anyone else he knows of that hasn't been altered even when entering the city through the wrong mirror.]
You know, I thought... [He places the end of one index finger between his teeth absent-mindedly.] when I got here, and the food smelled normal that there had to be something wrong with it. That it all had to be made from human material of some kind or else it wouldn't smell that way. I hadn't even eaten until now. I don't like not knowing where my food comes from...
[He bites down on his finger until it bleeds, then licks at the blood with a frown.] But what I had there... it was just bread. It was a cinnamon bun and nothing else. Is it because I'm a witch?