[ She feels the shifting tension in Zixuan's hands as he wavers back and forth, the awkward positioning of A-Ling trying to hold her. The combination of those two points of contact breaks the growing dread enough that she laughs, wetly. Quietly. It really is so ridiculous to be on the verge of tears when two people she loves are doing their best to comfort her. She blinks her eyes clear for long enough to give Jin Ling a wobbly smile. ]
Yes, please tell us.
[ She can't straighten with them both holding her, so instead she wraps one arm around A-Ling until her hand is curled against the back of his neck, and rests the other hand up against Zixuan's, wriggling a little until she can intertwine their fingers. ]
[ oh. he just buries his face into his mother's shoulder at that question, because the earliest memory he can recall is somewhat similar to this. a warm presence, and their voices. and he's going to choke up a little bit if he opens his mouth to reply immediately, so he swallows a couple of times, with a sniffle, and sags his shoulders. the emotions threatening to burst out of his chest are relentless and he'd like them to stay put so he doesn't look like a weak, whiny little kid in front of the two people he want to impress the most. ]
...I... don't remember a lot. But it's... like this. This feeling.
[ Despite the circumstances-- despite the strange city and the changes happening to their bodies and the mismatched timelines and the news of their impending deaths-- despite all that, Zixuan can't help but smile. He remembers standing with A-Li and their baby, both overcome with joy at the sight of what they'd created, who they'd brought into this world.
Even if this is not the same world, that joy is still present. Their son is still here.
He doesn't have words. He just smiles at his wife, at their son. Happy to be reunited, after so long apart. ]
[ A similar, helpless joy courses through Yanli. The hand at his neck moves, but only to begin to stroke his hair from crown to shoulder. She can't provide much in return, even if the month she's had a son has felt like a subjective lifetime. Her gaze, still blurred, falls briefly on Suihua, and she hums. ]
Did they tell you what you picked, out of everything we showed you before your one-month celebration?
[ Her other hand remains tangled with Zixuan's, though she squeezes his fingers briefly, that remembered joy so recent, still a highlight. ]
[ he shakes his head against her shoulder, absolutely relaxing against her touch without realizing it, completely unaccustomed to it but he honestly doesn't want to move ever again. if he thinks too hard on it he'll choke up again because he's still gone through his life with the knowledge that they died and he'd like to not have that in mind now when they're here and alive.
his voice comes out as a small murmur, with a sniffle at the end. ]
[ Zixuan's face lights up, one hand moving to rest proudly on his Suihua's hilt. It had been his proudest moment, watching young A-Ling grab on to Suihua. ]
Do you want to tell him, or shall I?
[ He wants to share that pride, that joy, but he wants to do it alongside Yanli. After all, he's her son just as much as he's Zixuan's. ]
[ She glances up, and caught up in his pride, beams helplessly back. ]
Well... [ He ought to tell it, but she doesn't mind setting up the story. It's helping her stave off her own despair, though it still lurks, like dark clouds on the horizon. But for now, she can look back at her son, and give him a teasing smile. ] We were holding up all sorts of things. Scrolls, brushes, food, jewelry, and you ignored all of them. I'll admit I was getting a little worried...
[ despite the fact that he would rather do anything but move, he feels like he's already been clinging a little too much to his mother, feels a little guilty for acting like a child. so he pulls away a little after a moment, resolutely not crying or sniffling anymore, but definitely listening to what they're talking about, eyes a little wide without his consent. ]
Ah...
[ he glances down at his Suihua on the ground... ]
[ Zixuan follows the direction of A-Ling's glance and nods enthusiastically like the dumb nerd he secretly is, deep down inside. ]
Yes! The only thing that interested you was Suihua. [ He beams at Yanli, remembering that morning. It wasn't long enough ago for him to feel nostalgic over it, but with A-Ling here, being a teenager, it feels worthy of remembrance. ] It was my proudest moment. I knew then that you would grow to follow in my footsteps.
[ He pauses, his smile faltering slightly. He just never could have predicted that he wouldn't be there to leave footsteps for Jin Ling to follow in. ]
[ her voice stays at a confidential volume for a moment. ] He didn't stop smiling all day, telling everyone who came by, "Just try and guess what our son chose!"...
[ It really is a strange thing to speak of with nostalgia, being so recent, but that just compounds the emotion. Like speaking into the future, except the future is sitting in front of her, eyes wide, with canine ears pricked forward. She reaches out and takes his hand, now he's pulled away... then reconsiders, and, on a whim, reaches up to tap his nose. ]
We should continue this conversation somewhere more comfortable, perhaps?
[ his dad is a nerd. it's now a fact even Jin Ling knows.
following in his footsteps, though... he remembers very little of what others told him as a child, but he always wanted to be a cultivator, regardless of the rigorous training Jiujiu put him through for it.
he watches his parent as they speak, the sad, wistful smiles and it's a wonder he doesn't crumple up again at it, mostly because he doesn't know how to hold all these emotions. and then he startles slightly as his mother taps his nose, hands coming up to cover it as he instantly goes entirely red with embarrassment and a strange sort of childish giddiness on the inside that is translated into a squeak, ears perking before laying flat on his head in embarrassment. ]
[ Zixuan is a nerd. And he continues to be a nerd as he beams at the sight of Yanli being affectionate with A-Ling. It had been an important stepping stone in their relationship, when she had finally felt comfortable enough with him to be similarly affectionate, during their private moments. Seeing how easily she falls into it with their son...
This world may be wrong in a lot of ways, but this? This is right.
At the suggestion from his wife, Zixuan gathers himself and his sword, standing from the bench, holding a hand behind his back as he looks around the square they have found themselves in and tries to place it on the map in his mind, figuring out how to get back to the apartment where he had been staying. ]
Yes, let's retire to somewhere more private. I have been using some rooms we can go back to.
[ With his free hand, he reaches out to help Yanli up. ]
[ She'd say he reacts just like she'd expect someone raised by a-Cheng, but that would be reducing the complexity of what she feels to see him recoil in harmless embarrassment. The dog ears don't help, so cute yet out-of-place that she has to bite down a laugh as not to make him even more self-conscious.
When Zixuan reaches for her, it's a good distraction to that effect. The motion of being moved is easy with repeated practice; she takes her place beside him with a murmured thanks. Her robes get a quick dust-off once she's stood, and she takes a steadying breath. ]
That's good. You haven't been here long, then?
[ She's not going to fix a-Ling's robes, but she wants to. ]
[ he can see his mother's tries to not laugh at him, though it doesn't feel bad, just embarrassing. it's not at all like when his fellow Jin clan juniors are laughing at his expense.
it's the opposite and he's not sure how to parse that, because he can't be mad, just flush harder and try to not think about how his tail is wagging at gods. he looks down as his father helps his mother up and moves a little to the side to pat his robes down and school his embarrassment down to manageable levels.
he's not sure why he wants to cry again, he's. he's happy okay. leave him alone. ]
[ There. They're all stood and straightened out and ready to move. Zixuan begins to walk, setting a slow, easy pace through the quiet nighttime streets. ]
Not long. Only a day or two. There is a night hunt going on outside the city. It is there, that I ran into A-Ling.
[ He won't go into the details of how they'd run into each other, with Jin Ling curled up in a ball, crying. He'll spare his son at least that dignity. Silently, he shoots A-Ling a look over Yanli's head, a soft, quiet smile and nod. That business stays between them. ]
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bless u
Yes, please tell us.
[ She can't straighten with them both holding her, so instead she wraps one arm around A-Ling until her hand is curled against the back of his neck, and rests the other hand up against Zixuan's, wriggling a little until she can intertwine their fingers. ]
no subject
[ oh. he just buries his face into his mother's shoulder at that question, because the earliest memory he can recall is somewhat similar to this. a warm presence, and their voices. and he's going to choke up a little bit if he opens his mouth to reply immediately, so he swallows a couple of times, with a sniffle, and sags his shoulders. the emotions threatening to burst out of his chest are relentless and he'd like them to stay put so he doesn't look like a weak, whiny little kid in front of the two people he want to impress the most. ]
...I... don't remember a lot. But it's... like this. This feeling.
no subject
Even if this is not the same world, that joy is still present. Their son is still here.
He doesn't have words. He just smiles at his wife, at their son. Happy to be reunited, after so long apart. ]
no subject
Did they tell you what you picked, out of everything we showed you before your one-month celebration?
[ Her other hand remains tangled with Zixuan's, though she squeezes his fingers briefly, that remembered joy so recent, still a highlight. ]
no subject
his voice comes out as a small murmur, with a sniffle at the end. ]
No...
no subject
Do you want to tell him, or shall I?
[ He wants to share that pride, that joy, but he wants to do it alongside Yanli. After all, he's her son just as much as he's Zixuan's. ]
no subject
Well... [ He ought to tell it, but she doesn't mind setting up the story. It's helping her stave off her own despair, though it still lurks, like dark clouds on the horizon. But for now, she can look back at her son, and give him a teasing smile. ] We were holding up all sorts of things. Scrolls, brushes, food, jewelry, and you ignored all of them. I'll admit I was getting a little worried...
no subject
Ah...
[ he glances down at his Suihua on the ground... ]
no subject
Yes! The only thing that interested you was Suihua. [ He beams at Yanli, remembering that morning. It wasn't long enough ago for him to feel nostalgic over it, but with A-Ling here, being a teenager, it feels worthy of remembrance. ] It was my proudest moment. I knew then that you would grow to follow in my footsteps.
[ He pauses, his smile faltering slightly. He just never could have predicted that he wouldn't be there to leave footsteps for Jin Ling to follow in. ]
no subject
[ It really is a strange thing to speak of with nostalgia, being so recent, but that just compounds the emotion. Like speaking into the future, except the future is sitting in front of her, eyes wide, with canine ears pricked forward. She reaches out and takes his hand, now he's pulled away... then reconsiders, and, on a whim, reaches up to tap his nose. ]
We should continue this conversation somewhere more comfortable, perhaps?
no subject
following in his footsteps, though... he remembers very little of what others told him as a child, but he always wanted to be a cultivator, regardless of the rigorous training Jiujiu put him through for it.
he watches his parent as they speak, the sad, wistful smiles and it's a wonder he doesn't crumple up again at it, mostly because he doesn't know how to hold all these emotions. and then he startles slightly as his mother taps his nose, hands coming up to cover it as he instantly goes entirely red with embarrassment and a strange sort of childish giddiness on the inside that is translated into a squeak, ears perking before laying flat on his head in embarrassment. ]
N-niang...!
no subject
This world may be wrong in a lot of ways, but this? This is right.
At the suggestion from his wife, Zixuan gathers himself and his sword, standing from the bench, holding a hand behind his back as he looks around the square they have found themselves in and tries to place it on the map in his mind, figuring out how to get back to the apartment where he had been staying. ]
Yes, let's retire to somewhere more private. I have been using some rooms we can go back to.
[ With his free hand, he reaches out to help Yanli up. ]
no subject
When Zixuan reaches for her, it's a good distraction to that effect. The motion of being moved is easy with repeated practice; she takes her place beside him with a murmured thanks. Her robes get a quick dust-off once she's stood, and she takes a steadying breath. ]
That's good. You haven't been here long, then?
[ She's not going to fix a-Ling's robes, but she wants to. ]
no subject
it's the opposite and he's not sure how to parse that, because he can't be mad, just flush harder and try to not think about how his tail is wagging at gods. he looks down as his father helps his mother up and moves a little to the side to pat his robes down and school his embarrassment down to manageable levels.
he's not sure why he wants to cry again, he's. he's happy okay. leave him alone. ]
no subject
Not long. Only a day or two. There is a night hunt going on outside the city. It is there, that I ran into A-Ling.
[ He won't go into the details of how they'd run into each other, with Jin Ling curled up in a ball, crying. He'll spare his son at least that dignity. Silently, he shoots A-Ling a look over Yanli's head, a soft, quiet smile and nod. That business stays between them. ]