dagung | TDM: MARCH

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* tdm

TDM: MARCH

Test Drive: March

All threads can be considered game canon,

the prompts and test drive itself will be

• Reserves Open Today! If you're interested in securing a character, put one in! This time around, reserves will expire after the first 48 hours of applications being opened. Those first 48 hours will be open to those who have reserves only, so we recommend placing one. It will not guarantee you a spot, but it will guarantee you can post your app immediately when they open.
• Applications Open The 24th! There will be a cap of 30 applications accepted this round, and apps will close whenever we've reached that cap. If there are slots left after the reserves-only period, apps will open to those without reserves. The application page can be found here.
• If you have any questions about the game or the world, please refer to the FAQ page; if you still have questions, feel free to ask them! For questions specific to the test drive, please ask them on the appropriate thread.
• For the purposes of the test drive, your character will have access to all magics taught by the Coven if they're a Witch, and as much of their shifted form as you'd like if they're a Monster. Feel free to play around and experiment with each!
• Test drive threads can be used as samples for your applications!

You feel like you're floating. Around you, colors and sounds and smells swirl as if trapped in a whirlpool, vibrancy and hue ever shifting. The more you watch them, the less solid they are; they only become clear out of the corner of your eye. The area around you begins to feel more solid as well, until your feet are on the ground, the wind brushes playfully against your face -

and you know one thing, and one thing alone: this is a dream, and an incredibly realistic one at that.

The Underground

Take a moment. Let your eyes adjust to the dark, your ears to echoing silence, but for the steady drip of condensation down the stone walls that surround you. The tunnels down here are wide, the ceilings high, but they are dim, devoid of sunlight and breeze. The only light, in fact, comes from the shards of softly-glowing shards of quartz lining the ground and the bio-luminescent algae that smears the stone in long, blue veins, pulsing gently, pushing breathable air into the otherwise-stale passageways. The air is damp, but the temperature is moderate - almost comfortable. The tunnels fork off and meander from where you are, some narrowing and some widening, but none seem to lead you to the surface, no matter how long you wander. Is it a trick of the light, that the algae glows a little brighter, pulses a little quicker, when you head in a particular direction? It's hard to sort your senses so deep underground, far from the world above where things make sense. Hopefully you've found a friend by now.

The Crystal Cavern
Many of the tunnels, both wide and narrow, lead to the same place: a massive chamber hewn out of the stone by time, and the drip-drip of water from the ceiling into the central lake. Perhaps you came out toward the bottom, and the ceiling is a thousand feet above you, or maybe you came out toward the top, and the lake is a thousand feet below. There are a hundred or more holes in the sloping stone walls that lead to more tunnels, and something like natural steps down from most of them. In a way, it resembles a beehive, this room acting as a central hub of sorts.

This is also the first place you find signs of life. Short, tough little tufts of grass growing from the thin soil, bone white in color, having long abandoned photosynthesis and chlorophyll. More of the glowing algae. Small, skittering insects - beetles, grubs and worms. The occasional albino rat, much larger and louder than rats have any right to be. Ruffled and capped fungi growing on the wet rock like parasites, some as large as a grown man. Blind, slimy cave fish wriggling around in the still waters of the lake.

And milling around the great stone cavern, slurping up the glowing algae that covers the rocks and grows in lacy sheets across the water, are dozens of great beasts, bigger than horses. Shaped like worms, but with dozens and dozens of stubby, fleshy legs, these creatures are huge, with velvety, multi-colored hides, and though their antennae wave in curiosity when approached, they don't seem aggressive. At least, as long as you avoid the big silk-wrapped bundles stuck to the walls and ground all over the cavern. These are their egg sacs, and if their young are threatened, they'll quickly shoot jets of viscous slime, a quick drying adhesive, that can slow and trap even the strongest adult. If you find yourself in a sticky situation, you better hope someone can wrench you loose - the worms seem content to eat algae, until they've caught prey. Each worm has a long, hooked, chitinous blade concealed within its fleshy jaws to tear and shred, and a nightmarish round mouth full of multiple rows of teeth.

Navigate carefully. There at the bottom of the lake, where it feeds into an underground stream that leads down another wide tunnel, there are a few small rowboats, some missing oars, certainly not enough for everyone. You'll have to share if you want to get out of here. Or you can keep hanging out with the giant wormipedes.

The Procession
As you proceed down the stream by boat, the lighting grows just a little brighter, seeming a little more purposeful in how the glowing algae is planted, how the softly glowing crystals are placed. You start seeing a new type of moss, greyish-green and growing in ragged sheets from the ceiling of the tunnel. Watch your head - it's near impossible to cut through this stuff should you get tangled. For a while, you only hear the soft splashing of the gentle stream, but then... there is a flash of torch light, up ahead.

The boat ahead is longer than the one you use, better kept, and full of people - three Monsters, all whose forms are based on creatures that thrive underground, in pieces of armor, holding spears, and one very elderly Witch woman, seated in the middle, wrinkled hands folded primly in her lap. Her milky gaze stares straight ahead, with something soft and proud in the set of her face. One of the Monsters holds the torch, the other rows the boat, and the third settles down next to her; they speak in hushed voices, with little smiles.

After a while, the rowing Monster slows the boat, before they can bump into a thick, heavy, impenetrable curtain of grayish-green moss that stretches across the whole tunnel, blocking the way, like a gate. The other two help the woman to her feet, and guide her toward the front of the boat - and the curtain of moss. She reaches out for it blindly, and they help her step onto the edge. There is something almost ritual or reverent about the movements, the way they regard the Witch as she touches the curtain of moss... and is wrapped into it quickly, swallowed up, absorbed. After twenty minutes of gentle pulsing, the lump that used to be the Witch is no more, and the whole of the moss pulses with light and magic. The Monsters watch this whole process vigilantly, and once the lights die down, they continue on. The moss parts to allow the boat through, brushing against the Monsters but not swallowing them.

The procession happens a few more times, in separate boats, with separate victims - but all are very, very elderly, and seem proud, even happy to meet their fates. Trying to follow them further after the ritual will have the same thing happen for your boat - the moss will part, and brush over those in the boat without causing harm. If you happen to be infected with the Cwyld, however... you might meet the same fate as the old woman, with the moss reaching and grabbing for you. The procession can be stopped, but drawing attention will draw the ire of the Monster guards, and, strangely, the victims themselves, who will fly into a distressed rage at the interruption.

The Marketplace
Beyond the veil of moss lies... civilization? The cavern is enormous, big enough to contain a city at least as big as Aefenglom, if not larger, though the population at a glance seems to be much smaller. Twenty thousand people, perhaps, give or take. Buildings have been carved out of huge stone spires, or formed by draping cloth around and between the natural stalactites and stalagmites. Monsters tend to be quite tall or bulky, possessing obvious physical strength, while Witches and humans tend to be shorter than in Aefenglom. They all mingle on the streets together, with no immediately obvious class difference. Since there is no weather to dress for, some don't bother to dress at all, though humans at least tend to wear flowy silks or simple clothes made from wormipede hides. The streets are wide and the buildings far-spaced, and many get around on the backs of those worm creatures, having made them saddles and reins.

The stream ends in a lake right next to a marketplace, with many small boats docked on its pebbled shores. The stalls sell all kinds of goods: clothing made from fine silk and worm hide or rat fur, skewered meat (It's bug.), weapons, armor, jewelry made from chunks of beautiful stone. Your arrival is bound to cause a stir though, so keep your head down, and maybe it's time to snatch a disguise from one of the clothing stalls.

Monster guards, occasionally flanked by Witches, patrol the streets and keep the peace, and stopping to talk to anyone will make one thing clear: they are not at all used to outsiders. They won't believe a word you say about being from above ground, and they've never heard of your world or Aefenglom. You're nomads from the tunnels, right? Of course, don't be ridiculous, you can't fool them with tall tales! At least they're usually willing to talk - briefly, of course, everyone is very busy down here, it's morning and many will be heading to tend to the herd soon.

Those who are subtle and pointed in their questions can learn a lot about the vast but also small civilization below the surface of the world. Strength is valued here - the stronger the Monster or more powerful the Witch, the higher their rank in society, and the closer they live to the center, largest spires of stone. Monster-Witch Bonded pairs are the be-all-end-all, and often wear matching wrist-guards or pendants proudly. Pretending to be Bonded to another will put many of the natives at ease, though Monster-Monster pairs get snide comments about how you have to team up to find a good Witch, and Witch-Witch pairs will get odd looks and assume you both have a very strong Monster partner somewhere. It must be quite rare for Witches to go un-bonded here, and any who pass through without an obvious partner may be propositioned by young Monsters showing off their various talents. Unbonded Monsters may be nudged in the direction of any strange, unbonded Witches - usually fellow Mirrorbound - in a poor attempt at matchmaking. Those poor unbonded Witches need protection, right? Or so the locals think.

It's too bad trying to go any farther than the Marketplace will get you stopped by guards and turned back, however. They don't allow nomads into the inner city.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

His posture straightens, head raising with disapproval as the answer comes.

"It's not just a dream. Can you not give me a simple answer?"

"Is there a simple answer? Yes, I suppose I'm well enough," he says frankly, visibly subdued. "If you can count what's happened unhurt." With a few possible meanings the phrase could have, at that. Maybe all of them.

"You say it's not just a dream. I almost think you know something you're not telling me now."

He draws a breath, like he wants to say something sharp in response to Jin Guangyao's reply. That he isn't the only one suffering. That Lan Xichen never intended to hurt him, even with all of the damage he had caused so many innocent people.

That he mourns him still.

But he swallows that response and exhales slowly, forcing calm back into his body.

"I'm happy to see it." He can choose to believe that statement or not. Lan Xichen continues. "I have been in a similar dream before. It is not the same, but it feels similar."

He doesn't believe Lan Xichen is even capable of lying. Which makes it all the more aggravating, because it would be easier to keep nurturing his resentment if he really did act as intolerant of Jin Guangyao's very existence as Nie Mingjue had towards the end. Frustrating to hear that faint draw of breath that means he still has doubts, questions, objections; doubly frustrating because the fact he doesn't want to say because he does still care to some degree.

"What was so similar about it? Did you happen to see other old familiar faces? Catch up on old times?" he asks, expression full more of constrained sorrow and pain than anything else.

There is a small part of Lan Xichen that wonders if the words are meant to be a knife in his side and that Jin Guangyao is trying to hurt him for the past by referencing it. But the pain on his face looks so real that he can't bring himself to fully challenge those questions. When he looks at the man, so clean and whole in comparison to his last sight of him, the Lan Sect Leader still sees his young sworn brother, his friend, and the innocence he once believed in without any question at all casting an echo back at him. He's almost frightened that if he looks too long at that image he will start to believe in it again.

"It wasn't him, if that is what you are asking. I met my brother. We concluded that these must be a shared dream of some kind. A way to bring us together for some sort of message, although we could not make out what the purpose was."

His breathing is still slightly fast, despite the calm he manages to hold onto. Xichen holds out a hand, palm raised, toward the gold-robed man.

"Let me see your hand."

The one Lan Wangji sliced off. Jin Guangyao lifts it a little, hesitating when he sees again nothing but the faint mottling of tawny-gold scales across the back. Some are darker, some lighter, but not enough for a pattern to come through. Yet, no doubt.

He steps forward to close that bit of remaining distance, and looks up into Lan Xichen's eyes, unsure where this is going. There is only the tiniest hesitation before he wordlessly, finally, rests his hand in Lan Xichen's.

Lan Xichen waits for Jing Guangyao to decide whether or not to listen to his request, hand held out and expressive impassive. There's a chance he won't, that he'll turn away and leave Xichen standing there, but when the man's palm rests on his at last, Lan Xichen breathes out a sight of relief. Even in the dream, it feels warm and real, making it even more convincing that he's not merely speaking to a ghost from his guilty conscience.

Raising his other hand, Lan Xichen gently pulls back the pale robe sleeve, revealing the patches of scales forming on the back. He raises Jin Guangyao's hand closer to him, looking at the budding signs of change with a slight frown.

"Do you feel strange? A lack of spiritual power?"

There's far more scales elsewhere on himself, that much Jin Guangyao can tell just from the way the clothes feel brushing against him. But voluminous clothing hides a lot, thankfully.

"Since I found myself here," he replies quietly, letting himself be examined without resistance - only the memory of the last time they stood this close to each other, with sharp steel running straight through him.

Only this time he's looking at Xichen's careful hands on his instead of wrapped around the hilt of a sword, and he hates the conflict he's feeling between wanting the brotherhood they had before and wanting to see Xichen fall to his knees, suffering with guilt.

"And what of yourself?" he asks in return, looking up again, scanning those features for any sign of change, as if he hadn't already looked once.

The answer confirms his suspicions. Lan Xichen isn't sure how he is going to tell his once sworn brother, this phantom that has been haunting him, that he is now turning into something other than human. He feels like he should tell him. Jin Guangyao deserves to know the truth. But coming up with a gentle way to say it leaves the Lan Sect Leader conflicted. After the younger man made it clear that he still fears him on some level, sharing such troubling news might be taken as another injury. He keeps hold on the scaled hand, concern etched on his face as he struggles with himself.

"I-" He abandons his first statement that he's a witch. It would make no sense to his brother, as it made no sense to him at first. "My change has come in a different form. A-Yao, people to come to this place leave part of themselves in the places they came from. We become something else."

There are at least half a dozen things he could say to jam that metaphorical knife between Xichen's ribs right now, not the least of which was that of course he had left something behind. And keep going from there.

...congratulations, Huisang. You tore through the last shreds of brotherhood and ruined everything so perfectly and completely in one final move. Well done indeed, you little fan-flapping fop.

So he doesn't say any of those things, and lets Xichen get wherever he's trying to get to with this conversation. Obviously he had become something else. Or was there more, more indignities to be suffered in death beyond being marked as some kind of beast. He nods once, placing his other hand over their already clasped ones encouragingly. "Whatever these changes are, they're favoring you at least."

Had Jin Guangyao spat back some of his thoughts at that moment, Lan Xichen would have recoiled and probably ended his attempts there. He has been searching for an answer to what he might believe about this man ever since his death, and closure has been frustratingly out of reach. But the sting of Jin Guangyao's malice might at least persuade him at last to let go of some of his guilt and the remaining feelings he keeps for his sworn brother.

But the kindness, so similar to the A-Yao he thought he knew in the time before the temple, feels so close to hope that he can't bring himself to turn against him. The betrayal between them went both ways, and Lan Xichen at least feels regret for the ultimate end that came without either of them being in control of it.

"Perhaps. I lost my golden core as well. Everyone who comes to this world changes even if you don't see it. We're divided between witches and monsters, and no one decides which side they fall under. Monsters as a whole are considered stronger, but can suffer from loss of control. And I've found that waking up doesn't return us back to our original homes."

He just listens for that moment, listens to his sworn brother telling him these crazy things. Only he is undeniably some kind of monstrous thing now, however mild the changes.

Jin Guangyao looks up at him with a little but of pained expression again, maybe just a little hint of tear in his eyes. Really, are you going to talk about going home when he said his final round of ~~'fuck you's~~ goodbyes with his dying breath, before Mingjue's corpse snapped his neck like a twig? Really? How lucky for you, to be able to think these things, that it might be a choice at all.

And...

Still with their hands clasped, Lan Xichen can feel Jin Guangyao's hands tighten, just a little. "Brother, what do you mean by losing control?"

He's trying to be gentle, knowing that there is no real way to make what he has to say sound anything but wrong and still feeling like he owes this man the truth. The truth is really all he has left to believe in, even if Jin Guangyao shattered it himself before he fell. All Lan Xichen can do is keep believing that maybe, somehow, that truth might keep his world right after everything that happened.

The pain in Jin Guangyao's eyes makes him turn away, although he still finds himself wondering how much of that pain is real. He wondered that a lot since he returned to Cloud Recesses, closing himself off and looking back, questioning the connection he thought they had. How much of that life had been a lie? He wants to withdraw from that pain, afraid that his heart will waver again, but he feels the grip tighten and looks at them instinctively, unable to resist.

"Without a witch's magic to help calm them, monsters can become violent. They have been saying it's important for witches and monsters to bond, so that a witch's magic doesn't become blocked and backfire and monsters don't lose control. It's not something that would affect this dream, but... It's just what I've heard."

Oh, that's what the bond business was about? There was something ironic about the whole thing, in the worst way. "I'm being put in a bad position again, and now you're the one telling me so straightforwardly that I have no other choice," he responds with a bitter almost-laugh, letting his hand drop. "Even though I never asked for this dream or this life either."

"You're not a monster either, are you?"

Lan Xichen steps back when he's released, moving away from the shame and slight anger caused by the accusation. His fingers curl and close like he's subconsciously protecting his hand from some injury that might have just occurred without him realizing it.

"I'm not. I suppose that is just my fate." If there's a slight edge to the way he says that, it's one he's only learned since losing his brothers. "No one asks to be brought here and changed, no matter what form those changes take. I thought you would want to know."

His expression softens as he looks away, toward the people around them.

"I don't know many of them, but the ones I have met here are kind. No one judges who they are."

Upon seeing the response, Jin Guangyao is the one who drops his gaze now.

He doesn't even know what he wants any more, seeing his sworn brother again like this after he thought it was all over. If it's to be forgiven, to hope for some way of fixing what was broken, both for himself and to spite another -- but every time Lan Xichen opens his mouth there's something new that reminds him of how little he understood, growing up in such a privileged position, and how that old forgiveness and understanding had frayed through, demanding explanations and expecting the worst of him. A betrayal, after they had done so much for each other and helped each other in so many ways, without the least bit of reason to even wish him hurt before.

"Thank you for telling me. I'm sure that you think that's true, at least," he replies, more resigned than intentionally hurtful.

Even without intent behind them, the words sting. Lan Xichen frowns, feeling that once again this man that he had believed in with all his heart--even when he knew better--is just pointing out how he can never find the truth he desperately wanted. His belief in Jin Guangyao had been ground down in that temple, the faith he once had that even questionable actions must have some justification withering. Being told by the man that his assumed good will is what he might think only raises the point that it can be proven wrong. It's as though the spirit of his old friend has been sent just to torture him.

"You're right," he answers quietly. "I can only trust what they tell me is true. If they feel any injury, they don't wish to share that with me."

His gaze remains on the people moving between vendors around them. The questions he was starting to leave behind resurface, once again leaving him with too many doubts. Was the trust between them always a lie? He had firmly believed that Jin Guangyao did value his friendship, but now he's finding it difficult to shake off the thought that maybe he is there now because he regrets letting his brother walk away unharmed.

"I told you because I believe these dreams call us to their world. If there was a chance, I did not want you to be shocked by the things they told you once you arrived. The people who live there are very open about the changes newcomers must endure. I did not receive the news well, but perhaps it is just my own weakness."

He shakes his head a little. Lan Xichen's idea of not taking it well was probably so mild that nobody even thought much of it.

"Brother, you always left a good impression in the minds of anyone you met. I doubt anyone took offence. I can only thank you again for trying to spare me from the worst of the surprises. If, as you say, it is more than a dream, and I awaken somewhere else, and... that these changes are something nobody is judged for... even with new challenges ahead, I think I would still find myself better off than where I was in my last life.

"In this alternate waking world, nobody but you knows who I am, or what I've done. With what you've seen, maybe you can let me know one other thing before the dream ends. Tell me, should I think of this new life as a second chance?" he asks, trying to catch Lan Xichen's eyes again, taking one step forward to counter the one that had been taken away from him.

He shouldn't push his luck, but he needs something to go with, to know which way to let his feelings settle again. Just go ahead and kick him down the metaphorical stairs without some other schemer's interference, if that's what you're going to do. Or forgive him; and while he can't forget what happened, he can at least live without it seething inside him.

Lan Xichen remains quiet and still, although his eyes move with the flow of market traffic, looking for some kind of safe anchor among the strangers. He can't settle on any one thing, drifting from children laughing to locals calmly doing their shopping, ignoring the two strange mirrorbound that happen to be nearby. There is no comfort of the hanshi here, and Lan Xichen cannot retreat from his past no matter how much he wants to.

When he catches the movement out of the corner of his eye, he looks back at Jin Guangyao, shoulders tense and eyes dull like he's been standing out in a storm for too long. He doesn't move away, but the way his sworn brother phrases the question, he suspects that there is some text to this. A small part of him hopes even now that Jin Guangyao still cares for him, but how could he ever know the answer to that? And, in the end, it doesn't matter. He closes his eyes with resignation.

"Every new moment should be treated as an opportunity to live better lives. What is it you are asking me to do?"

He's shutting him out. Jin Guangyao grabs a fistful of cloth from Lan Xichen's robe, gripping tightly with his intensity, begging.

"I'm asking you for a second chance. Are you going to hold the sins of another life against me forever? I'd given up on everything from back then, I never even expected to see you again. Yet how am I supposed to turn over a new leaf with doubt following behind me at every step?"

Lan Xichen's eyes shoot open again in surprise as he's grabbed. The feeling of being clung to and the sound of his desperate sworn brother send fresh pain to his heart, reminding him that it wasn't long ago that he went into seclusion. The strange new world provided a buffer from his grief and his memories, but as soon as he saw Jin Guangyao again, the chaos in his mind returned as if it hadn't left. He can only stand there, caught by the familiar hands of someone he still cares for, knowing he shouldn't be so willing to forgive all of those terrible deeds he learned about.

"A-Yao, if you are asking me that because you worry about what I might say, I..."

Lan Xichen is still too kind to give him the violent rejection that would settle his heart, it should have been obvious... and that just makes it all the worse.

"-no." Pressing onward through that hesitation and suspicion, Jin Guangyao continues in anguish, "I want to know that I was wrong about one last thing at the end, that even though all of it, you can find it in yourself to forgive me." It's completely shameless now, but that's just the way it has to be. "Forget the words that were spoken in the moment of our betrayal and start again as brothers."

No. It's such a simple word, but it makes all the difference to him. No means that maybe, maybe this time Jin Guangyao doesn't just want him to look away and keep his silence. Maybe he's not just asking Lan Xichen to keep from interfering, which he had always tried to do in the past even when the rumors around Jin Guangyao begged for answers.

And, yes, perhaps Lan Xichen is being too hopeful once again, but the man clinging to him reminds him so much of the A-Yao he once thought he knew well that all he can do is let out a shuddering breath and reach out to take his arms.

"Promise me. You have to promise that all of that is over and you won't turn to those wicked methods here. I- I cannot look the other way again, after what has happened. But I want to believe the man that saved my life did not do that just because I carry the Lan name."

Edited 2020-03-24 03:27 (UTC)

The sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach is masked by the intensity of emotion already writ large across his face. "So that's how much you..." He can't quite finish the sentence, dropping his head and shoulders trembling with his own shaky breath in.

It wasn't just because of that, and if it had been, was that so wrong? To hope for a little good favor from a prestigious sect when he had nothing? And to see what he had thought was a true brotherhood grow from it?

"I won't ask it again, Brother," he vows when he looks up with tear-streaked cheeks. "I give you my word that none of those things will happen again. Why... why would they, why would I have reason to? I regret it all. All I can ask is that you believe it." his voice hopeless at the end.

Edited 2020-03-24 23:01 (UTC)

Jin Guangyao starts to say something that sounds so much like the beginning of a fear that La Xichen has harbored ever since the revelations at Guanyin Temple and Lan Xichen draws in a rough breath in echo of his brother's. Trembling right next to him, the younger man looks fragile and alone, and Lan Xichen can't help the feeling wrenching in his gut when he sees the tears. He's already pale and looking more frayed than before, even though their conversation hasn't been that long. He looks at his brother in silence, lips trembling a bit as he struggles for words, then seems to find some sort of courage a rallies.

"Don't hold back what you want to say." His voice isn't as strong as he wants it to be, but he tries to be confident through his response. "You keep so much from me. I used to think that no one could see how patient and noble you really are because they simply refused to see it. I thought that I saw someone different in you because you allowed me to see you. But I was wrong in the end too. I just want you to trust me."

TDM: MARCH

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don't harsh his pity-fishing expedition bro :(

You can't puppy eyes your way out of everything!

you'll never know unless you try!

I applaud your boldness.

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