[Lapis is doing much the same as Peridot, fingers pressing into her arm uncomfortably to give her some measure of focus, because she doesn't really know how to take that.

Peridot is... Important to her. So, so important, and it feels bad, knowing what she does now? Knowing that Peridot had wanted to be like Percy and Pierre with her for so long and now... Well, there's no reason they can't, but Lapis feels like she's mucked it all up already, has already lost her chance, and that makes her anxiety spike something awful.]

Peridot, I... I didn't know? I didn't think you'd want that with someone like me. [She says, looking away suddenly again. She's not a good person. She's already come to terms with that. She's trying, she's trying so hard, but she knows she'll always be the monster that Jasper told her she was back then.] You deserve someone better than me, Peridot. That's why I never... [She starts to rub her arm, something to ground herself when she feels so much like running.] I want to be like Percy and Pierre with you. I have for a long time.