[She clenches and unclenches her claws a few times, wondering if she should say what's really on her mind, or if she should tamp down on these thoughts because they might be the result of irrational monster instincts which she'll regret later.]

I've known you for over a year now... How did this Lorenz guy succeed in two months, at what I've been trying to do for almost two years?

[There's an obvious answer staring her in the face and, and it's that Lapis just doesn't want that kind of relationship with her. But she hates that, and she doesn't want to acknowledge it as a possibility.]