turmoiling: (pic#13861062)
Jin Guangyao ([personal profile] turmoiling) wrote in [community profile] dagung 2020-03-25 01:51 am (UTC)

He just doesn't understand how it is. Yes, he's done some deeply regrettable things, and perhaps one or two that were not so regrettable to him personally, but still repugnant to any decent people. Things he had to keep away from Lan Xichen, because that kindness can't properly understand how terrible the world can be and what someone might have to do for even the tiniest amount of goodwill.

And that's fine. He shouldn't have to understand it. Shouldn't have demanded so many answers and explanations. Even with it all laid bare like it was, he was never going to truly see, should remain the pure white moonlight above.

"I only don't want to hurt you. But what kind of trust can I have, when you could think that perhaps I only helped you for selfish reasons. Are you happier now that I've said it? Or are you going to pull away again?" he says with an air of sudden desperation, hanging tight to Lan Xichen's robes still.

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